Bikini Warriors Blu-ray (Review)

By: AlanVA group of four adventurers embark on their quest to save the world. The standard set of heroes are here; with the party having a Paladin, a Mage, a Fighter and a Darkelf in its ranks. Along the way, they’ll run into lecherous monsters in and outside of town, doing what they can to remain financially afloat.Bikini Warriors is a set of 12 mini-episodes, each of which clock in at about four minutes long. That’s including the intro and ending sequences, too. It cuts right to the chase, putting these supposed heroes into as many positions as possible for the camera to take advantage of. Making sure to put the characters’ bodies on full display for viewers.This anime is as close as you can get to hentai without being hentai. However, this begs the question: who is this for? There must only be a tiny audience who wants this kind of content. The story isn’t much better than what you’d find in hentai, while its prurient material isn’t as titillating as what you’d find in hentai. It’s an odd duck.It’s exactly what you’d expect from the box art and the description on the back. Although one moment in particular completely caught me off guard. As one of the characters is running some side quests she finds herself chasing a dog. In the middle of the chase she falls to the ground, with the dog coming back to lick her…everywhere. Yup, everywhere.The characters don’t help matters much. They have zero backstory. In fact, they don’t even have names! They’re only referred to as their character classes. Their personalities are as interesting as their names, and it’s difficult to care about them when they’re so plain and boring. They’re also incredibly dumb, which the anime tries to use for comedic effect. The keyword is “tries.”Video QualityThere isn’t much content on the lone blu-ray disc, so the video gets some serious breathing room. The variable bit rate hovers in the 30+ Mbps range, sometimes getting up to 40 Mbps. The nice bit rates still don’t save this anime from its visual mediocrity, though. There is also a fair amount of color banding present, too.Audio QualityBikini Warriors has both a 5.1 English language track and a 2.0 Japanese language track. Both tracks are in Dolby TrueHD. Neither of the performances stands out from the other. So, you can choose whichever one you usually prefer.ExtrasThe extras on this release are incredibly light. There are two clean closing sequences along with some trailers for other Funimation properties. The two closing sequences are insanely short. Don’t expect to keep coming back to this disc for the extras.Bikini Warriors lacks too much for anyone other than the most ardent fan service crowd. It has no story to speak of, its characters are anything but, and the moment with the dog is one of the most cringe inducing you’ll come across. Just go watch something else.