I got engaged to my co-tank during Fanfest: FFXIV changed my life
We started planning our Fanfest trip way back when it was first announced, before we even knew if we’d be lucky enough to get tickets. By the time the big weekend rolled around, everything was ready, including the hotel and a long-awaited reservation for a fancy dinner to kick the whole experience off. The first thing we did when we got to Vegas was meet up with a long-time friend and head off to registration, where the excitement was everywhere – especially when YoshiP popped out to wave at everyone waiting.
What I didn’t know at the time was that my partner had one more thing planned – that night, he proposed to me (spoiler alert: I said yes!)
Every once in a while I hear complaints about how unproductive gaming is; how they think it’s antisocial. I grew up in a small town with little diversity, in a place I didn't fit in and with people who weren't very kind about it. For me, gaming has always been about connection - once upon a time it was how my mom and I spent time together, and as I got older I had the chance to start talking to others from outside of my little village. I was amazed when I started making friends from around the world who loved the same things I did. When I moved, my gaming friends came with me.
Final Fantasy XIV wasn’t my first MMO, but it was the first one I really got involved in. It was the first one I started making friends in. And it was where I was lucky enough to stumble into the small series of happenstances that led me to meeting Nico - the confident, fun miqote who soon joined me in all my gposing and achievement hunting. Without Final Fantasy XIV, our paths probably never would have even crossed. So honestly, getting engaged during Fanfest made a lot of sense.
Gposing in Crown of the Immaculate
FFXIV was also a lifeline in a very difficult time. During the early parts of the pandemic, my story was much like many players’. I lived far from my family, and soon I found that my local friends were moving away to graduate schools and new jobs, or leaving due to visa issues. The city that I had once loved enjoying with my classmates and friends wasn’t the same anymore. There were no more coffee dates or study groups. No grabbing dinners and stopping by the library. “Going out” was a matter of necessity – not choice – and quite often stressful. That’s not even getting into the stress of loved ones falling ill.
But I did still have the vibrant world of FFXIV to explore. From my little apartment on lockdown, I traveled to distant lands, explored unique and colourful cities, and faced down gods. Even better, I could do it all with fellow Eorzeans from across the world. I can’t give FFXIV credit for features that are expected in all MMOs, but the fact remains that everything from the Free Companies to duty finder to the prevalence of statics for difficult content helped encourage a camaraderie and companionship that was so much harder to find in a difficult time.
Ultimate Weapon (Ultimate) clear shot!
It also gave us a space for our long-distance relationship to actually exist – we could go on dates at the Gold Saucer and throw parties. Last year we had an in-game wedding, and it was amazing to see how many friends came out to celebrate with us - it even got streamed! Even strangers joined in our excitement through Twitch. Afterward we spent hours having a gorgeous in-game photoshoot done by our friend, while we watched shows together and just enjoyed the evening. These days we’re even co-tanking in the same raid team with six other wonderful friends.
Wedding party!
Editing courtesy of our beautiful friend Maggie, the Art Queen
It’s hard to overstate how much FFXIV has impacted my life.
Of course, anytime you have a lot of people in one place, you’re bound to run into some negatives too. I’ve had my share of toxic groups, fallen apart FCs, friendships that didn’t work out, and uncomfortable party- or duty-finder moments – that’s just the reality of putting different personalities in the same space. No bustling world is going to exist without conflict. But by and large? The friends I’ve made and the lovely times I’ve experienced within this community vastly outweigh the experiences with toxic players or short-lived dramas.
This world of magic and dragons and wild stories of ill-fated universes may not be real, but it absolutely gives us a real space in which we can build our communities, make friends, and even find people we love enough to say “yes” to spending the rest of our lives together.
These are the moments I think about when I look back on my time in the game. For all its logistical issues and the amount of time standing in line, Fanfest was a big reminder of the people that keep me coming back even when the story is all done and the fights have been won.
5 out of 8 members of the esteemed raid group, Yeet Infection! (You can’t make bread without a little yeet)
When you’ve known people for anywhere from months to years online, there’s something magical about that first in-person meeting. This weekend I was amazed by how many people I got to meet and enjoy my time with. I finally got to put faces to the character names of people I progged ultimate with or knew from my FC. I even ran into some local friends who play, including my old housemate from Canada who had come down with her husband. For an activity that’s constantly portrayed as antisocial, it’s always striking just how connected a game can make us to people we might never have met out in the “real” world.
We were one of several couples who got engaged this weekend – players for whom the game has been life-changing in such a permanent, incredible way. When I say FFXIV changed my life, I truly mean it. Last year I moved across the country to start a new life with someone I met in Eorzea. I have never been happier, and I regret nothing about the days I’ve spent playing with so many others from around the world.
To my fellow Warriors of Light – thank you for a wonderful time not only in Vegas, but throughout the wonderful world of Final Fantasy. May you ever walk in the light of the crystal.